


Rambling Monsters

by Laurie wonders (Laurie1621)



Category: The Originals (TV), The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cannon Divergence, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Finn is nice, Gen, Idk what I’m doing, Just Add Fluff, Klaus loved Mikael, Mikael is not a dick, Mikael loved Klaus, Monsters, Multi, OOC, Other, Rambling, just some ramblings, mikael apologizes, soft Mikael & Klaus moments, won’t follow cannon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:42:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29153748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurie1621/pseuds/Laurie%20wonders
Summary: The Mikaelsons lived for a thousand bloody years.During this time, some of them found comfort in writing their memories.As they were pouring their hearts out into the paper, they could think more clearly about their past.They could dream of a better future.Or even, if they wished to, the Mikaelsons could get lost in their tragic memories.OrThe Mikaelsons' Diaries. Literally. That's the fic. Just some ramblings in the first person from the perspective of The Mikaelson family. Warnings for fluff and angst.
Relationships: Ansel/Mikael (Vampire Diaries), Elijah Mikaelson & Finn Mikaelson, Elijah Mikaelson & Finn Mikaelson & Klaus Mikaelson & Kol Mikaelson & Rebekah Mikaelson, Elijah Mikaelson & Klaus Mikaelson, Elijah Mikaelson & Klaus Mikaelson & Rebekah Mikaelson, Finn Mikaelson & Freya Mikaelson, Finn Mikaelson & Klaus Mikaelson, Finn Mikaelson & Kol Mikaelson, Finn Mikaelson & Rebekah Mikaelson, Klaus Mikaelson & Kol Mikaelson, Klaus Mikaelson & Rebekah Mikaelson, Kol Mikaelson & Mikaelson Family, Kol Mikaelson & Rebekah Mikaelson, Mikael & Elijah Mikaelson, Mikael & Finn Mikaelson, Mikael & Freya Mikaelson, Mikael & Klaus Mikaelson, Mikael & Kol Mikaelson, Mikael & Original Mikaelson Character(s), Mikael & Rebekah Mikaelson, Mikael (Vampire Diaries) & Original Male Character(s), Mikael/Esther Mikaelson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Rambling Monsters

**Author's Note:**

> Yes. This is yet another new story because god forbid I finish a story before posting another one. (Don't judge me)
> 
> This is kinda like an "one shot book", but written in the First Person POV. 
> 
> It's literally just a collection of dairy entries written from the perspective of the Mikaelsons.
> 
> I'm low key open to requests. I don't do much romance tho. But I apart from that I'd love some suggestions whenever I run out of ideas. 
> 
> Anyway, I'm not sure if this will connect with any of my previous works. I'm truly just experimenting here.
> 
> I might add a list of characters I'll be writing for, maybe a cast, but for now this is just experimenting. 
> 
> TW: For mentions of violence, suicidal thoughts and strong language.
> 
> I'll add warnings when necessary.
> 
> I think this is it for now.   
> Comments are SO appreciated!   
> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter in Mikael's POV. He is a little OOC, as in out of character. I'm not using his characterization from the show. It inspired me, but I'm giving my own spin to it. There're mentions of suicidal thoughts. So careful if that triggers you.

15 of July 1506

I do not understand the purpose of this. A strange exercise, if you ask me. It's pointless, frivolous. No one will ever read this. I won't let them, even if I intended to go forward with this project.

Why should I write about my life? My memories of them?

Should they not die with me when I leave this world to go met my wife?

The world now sees my children as monsters. Who would want to read my ramblings about them? Who cares if I miss them? They certainly do not.

Perhaps I'm a hard person to miss. They would be better off without me. I should have been a better father, shouldn't I? I tried. I swear I tried.

But did I? Gods, did I truly try to hold down this beast inside of me?

Does it even matter now? All my children despise me.

The last time I tried to talk to Finn, he made it more than clear he wanted nothing to do with me. My oldest boy threw everything he could get his hands on right at my head. And then he ran. He did not even listen to what I was trying to tell him. He simply left me.

I haven't seen him in centuries, that bloody fool! Dear Lord, I hope to every God my boy has not jumped off a cliff. He was so lost.

By Odin, I hope my boy is safe somewhere. My little Finny deserves happiness. He deserves peace. God, just please give my boy some peace, wherever he may be. I haven't heard from him in so long. Maybe he found a nice place. Perhaps that is why he disappeared. Yes. Perhaps that's why I have not had news from my Finn.

Kol also hates me. That much is painfully clear. I found him once. Last century, I think. He was alone. I truly thought that would help. Without the others, why would he not he hear me? I was wrong. So very wrong.

My little wizard, always with the spells and tricks. I should have known Kol would outsmart me. I could never keep him quiet as a child. My boy would always slip away. I could never catch him, at least not until he had already broken or stolen something from one of our neighbors. Esther only barely managed him. He almost drove her mad.

He had his witch friends blast me away while he fled. I haven't seen him since. I have not heard from him either. But he must be alright. My Kol is too smart to let himself get lost. He will find his way.

I could not talk to Rebekah and Elijah yet. I have seen glimpses of them, right before they fled. They seem fine. Healthy, I suppose. I have been hearing terrible stories about them. Massacres. All their misguided little endeavors.

But I do not suppose it would do much good. If I talked to them. Of course they will never listen to me. Why would they? My presence, my name and my hunt have stolen so much from them. I took away their chance at peace, their chance of a quiet life. A simple one, with love and kindness.

It was all my fault. I wish it could be his fault. I wish I could blame him for it all.

Good Odin, will there ever be a day when I can truly hate him? For all the rage I still have in me after all these years. I wish, most of all, I wish I could hate him.

But no. After all the battles I have fought in the name of my Gods, they are too petty to do me this kindness. They are cruel and may never let me hate him.

I have seen him. Briefly, so briefly. It was the last century too; I think. But I have seen him before too. Sometimes. The last was some 30-odd years ago.

But I remember him. My boy. He did not look like a monster. God, I wish he looked like a beast.

Niklaus still looks like my little boy, who I taught how to hunt. The boy who asked me to bring home berries so he could paint his little arts. The boy who always ran to meet me when I came back home. My son who always begged me to let him sit on my lap and then proceeded to fall fast asleep. But whenever I tried to lay him down on his bed, my boy would jerk awake and beg me for one more story. I always said yes.

Until the day I said no. Perhaps he started loathing me in that day. I certainly have loathed myself more and more since then.

No. Niklaus still looks like my son.

But does it even matter now? What he looks like? Who he looks like?

Even if it did, what would I do about it? Crawl on my knees to meet him and apologize? Beg them for a forgiveness they could never grant me?

Klaus would never believe me. I know it in my bones.

Even if he did, why should I be the first to apologize?

He betrayed me! He killed her. His own mother. My wife. My love.

I knew he would be angry with the curse I asked Esther to put on him. I knew he would hate us for depriving him from a part of himself.

But, if he was to kill someone for it, I was so sure it would have been me.

It should have been me. I should have died with her.

Yet I thought I could make him understand. It would be painful, the curse. I knew it. But I had suffered worst pains, and he was so like me when I was young. He was, wasn't he?

I wanted to tell him. To explain why I was doing such a horrible thing to him. 

It was selfish. Of course it was. But I was desperate, so very desperate to keep him. I never wanted to lose him. 

I did not kill the wolves for revenge. It was not pride. It was desperation. I wanted my boy to stay mine. I did not wish to lose my son. I could never just hand him over to another person.

Niklaus was my son. I would do anything not to lose him.

I thought, if my boy never knew him, if he was no longer a wolf, if... then he would be mine. Even if only for a while longer.

But he wasn't even mine to begin with. He had never been and will never be my son.

_He was never even mine to lose_.

But I still lost him. I lost the son I loved; I lost my little boy.

If he was less reckless, less foolish, less like me. Then perhaps I could have swollen my pride. I could have been different, if I did not see so much of myself in him. But perhaps he only survived for this long because of it, the parts of me which live on inside of him. I only wish I could have told him I loved him. I could have been a better father.

Though, the cruel irony is I lost them all. There is nothing on this earth that will ever change this. I lost my children. Every one of them. They are strangers to me. I am a monster to them.

I should have asked Esther for a spell. Something to stop me if I ever become a danger to them. I should have stopped myself. After all, I swore I would be a better father. I made a promise, and I broke it. Perhaps if I had been the father I wanted to be, perhaps then we would all have been happy.

I should have asked for a spell after Esther turned us into vampires. A spell to put an end to it. Five hundred years and I still play with the White Oak Stake. I flip it around, carve my people's symbols into it. All the time pretending I am not thinking of burying it deep into my own chest. Perhaps then I will finally have some peace of mind.

With one quick movement of my wrist, it would be over.

Doing it would be easier than writing this. So much faster, too.

I still do not see the point of all this.

This ludicrous exercise still alludes me with its purpose.

The night slipped through my fingers. Through the open window I can see the sun rising.

My chest does feel slightly lighter. Perhaps that is the point of all this.

_But does it even matter?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So This is literally just a rambling from Mikael's perspective. I'm hoping to write at least one chapter like this for each one of the Mikaelsons. But, let's be honest, some of them might have more than one chapter.  
> If you enjoyed this, please consider leaving your thoughts. Thanks for reading dear!  
> Also leave suggestions if you have some.

**Author's Note:**

> So If you liked this so far, please consider leaving your thoughts! I can’t explain how much I appreciate that!


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